hello
2007-06-08, 9:43 a.m.

There is something i left behind a while ago, something i would like very much to do. But i dont know how to go about doing it. Things are never as simple and easy as they may seem. But i always back on in the end. I lack courage. Maybe cause it has been so long. And i dont know what to say anymore. But i have half a year to make it right. 4 weeks, 4 days more and then i'll try again.

Courage. It took alot of courage. But then again why bother right. Everything is a failed attempt. I really don't want to bother anymore. But something is telling me otherwise. Still there is these two voices at the back of my head, arguing. A nagging worry that nothing is going to pay off, everything will be for nothing. But the other voice saying that as long as i have tried, my efforts will be made worthwhile. I'm more inclined to go with the former. The latter seems close to impossible.

Takes me days, hours to build up courage. But at that moment itself, i lose it, i keep putting it off till later, till there is no more time then i force myself to do it. Even impulse doesnt work anymore.

Whispers hello i miss you quite terribly.
I fell in love in love with you suddenly.
Now there's no place else i could be but here in your arms.

And i don't know how to be fine when i'm not.
cause i dont know how to make a feeling stop.
I tried my best to let go of you.
But i dont want to.

wonderful - memories