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2007-12-13, 1:00 p.m.

I'm not sure that's my room anymore. I'm so worn out. packing my room makes me sneeze. i'm clearing the remnants of my stuff out of my room and i'm moving them to the basement. i rather just move myself actually. 1 person as opposed to carting down 5 boxes of stupid notes. so much easier. so much less complicated. i realise i can't find my physical geog prelim script. that's impossible. it has to be around somewhere, i know my friend returned it to me after photocopying it. and don't want to lose it. no, i cannot lose it. fuck.

Packing my stuff brings back too many memories. found my canoeing stuff. from the time i was captain, qm, training ic. it's overwhelming. looking at all those lineups again. missing my days in the water. remembering the long bus rides, the long walks, the pain, the hope, the glory. wasn't everything just so perfect last year. i was happy, everyone was happy. impressionable and excitable, waiting to see how the future unfolds for us. whether we can follow our dreams and meet our goals. scoldings tolerated because we knew it would improve us. not jaded, physical tired and worn out but not weary of the world and everything around us. hopeful, optimistic, raring to go. wanting to change for the better, planning efficiently. so young, so innocent, so fresh, so new to the way things are run. so interested in learning. so anxious to please. makes me wonder what happened. why did so much change. but this just reminds me of what i read before. change is the only constant in life. how ironic. but irony is brilliant. provoking but brilliant nonetheless. but i shouldn't be thinking this way.

somewhere out there, someone is having a good laugh yet again. always happens, but i'm used to it. but i know things will fall back in place. they always do. eventually. they can go terrible awry, but the world must maintain its order. and i have faith. i'll force myself to believe that everything rights itself eventually.

wonderful - memories