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2007-12-31, 8:41 p.m.

I tried adding this to my older entry, but it seemed so long that even I couldn't be bothered to read it again. And it's my reflections! Of course I have to read it again.

Ok back home from my afternoon out. 3 books. goodness, I've never spent so much on books before. Much less paying out of my own pocket. I've only ever bought one book at a time when I buy them myself. Always a first time. Always.

Stupid bus was so crowded on my way back home, I wonder what is the attraction on this side of Singapore, where exactly does 156 go to. Basket, I was being squashed on the bus, doing all I can to breathe properly without inhaling anyone. I was so uncomfortable, so tempted to get off and walk home instead. But I thought the better of my legs. And I wasn't really in the mood to take a long walk. Very unlike me, but maybe it's cause the new year starts tomorrow. If I want to start over, 12am is the time.

Some fucking idiot totally leaned into me. I couldn't take it so I got off at the earlier stop and I enjoyed a longer walk home. Which meant that I was in the mood for a walk at last. But as I was walking into the estate, I turned back and I saw the setting sun. Was suddenly overwhelmed with this urge to run back to my house, hop onto my bike and race all the way to the west coast. This sudden irresistable urge to chase time, this notion stuck in my head that if I could catch it, I could control and bend it to my will. How I wanted to race the sun all the way to the west to watch it set. Even if I wouldn't be fast enough, at least to get a glimpse of the 2007 sun in it's final moments of glory before it 'sinks into the depths of the ocean'. I think walking puts me into a pensieve mood, as does writing.

I want to go out and play.

I fake a smile so you don't see.
All the pain you're causing me.

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence i have
For you I will.

wonderful - memories