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2008-01-15, 11:27 p.m.

Second entry for the day. I hardly do this, but since I have decided I won't come online much anymore then why not. Just for tonight. And I think now, I'll come online either on request or if I need to do some homework so I won't appear that ignorant.

My eyes are closing, I shall sleep early cause tomorrow I have to wake up early. Starting work. Yay. I've grown up at last.

I was just wondering on the bus today about some things I heard from my friends before. It seems like when they like someone, they make it seem so easy to not like them. For example they say things like it's not a priority right now, as if they can forget them as and when they like. And it made me wonder if it really is possible. To control your emotions and use them to your advantage, to prevent them from overwhelming you. Cause I find that impossible. How can you not make someone your priority and not think about them when you like them. It seems absurd. Or maybe it's just me. I get very affected by the people I like. Sometimes my mood and behaviour is tied very closely to them. They can either thrash my mood or make me so happy I won't know what I'm doing. How stupid to let your emotions be ruled by people who might mean so much to you and you might mean nothing to them. Reminds me of this quote I once came across somewhere. Can't remember where. It goes: 'Don't let someone become a priority in your life, when you're only an option in theirs' Ouch.

But sometimes someone comes along and makes you so happy you just want to believe that you can make them happy too. But then again I'm straying from my initial point. I wonder how some people do it. They rule their emotions, why do I find it so hard to reign in mine.

I think I'm really good at evading things and questions that I don't like. Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers too. I practice this form of self preservation.

Did I ever tell you you're perfect?

wonderful - memories