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2008-03-07, 12:11 a.m.

Flashbacks. Remembering the time I felt so helpless and wished I could dig my heart out. I hate it and anything related to it. That flash of pain. But maybe it's when you hurt that you know you love. An oxymoron again. People always say that the only person worth your tears will never make you cry, never hurt you. Yet it's when you love to that extent that they are capable of hurting you the most. And you'll hurt the most for them or because of them. No one else could do that cause they wouldn't mean as much. Life is full of contradictions.

I'm sure I could have done more. Studied harder, made better use of my time. But I'm going to promise myself that I won't regret. I did what I did. I probably had my reasons, so whatever comes out, I'm going to have to accept it. And so I wish I will be overjoyed. Much easier to accept anyway.

I guess I don't have much choice. I'm going to turn in. Maybe I'll wake up and realise it's all just a dream.

wonderful - memories